I did not write this. All credit goes to ClickForTaz on Youtube. I just really wanted to share this with you guys.

Toxic Love

You made me feel like I was nothing.

Made me believe that I was difficult to love.

And like a fool I kept trying,

I kept trying till it became too much.

I got in so deep that I lost who I was.

I knew it was toxic.

I knew it wasn't right.

But no matter how bad things got,

I couldn't help but try.

I told myself it would be different this time.

I just couldn't give up.

Constantly battling over whether this is love or lust?

Cause if it's love...

Then why was it so messed up?

I would treat myself like nothing.

Yet to you,

I gave so much.

And then you go and break my heart.

Tell me that you're sorry and that this is a fresh start.

And like a fool I'd wait.

Wait for the day you'd make another mistake.

A part of me wants to speak up,

But I hesitate.

It's like you're controlling me you've infected my brain.

How do I escape when you've become part of my DNA?

Even when you're gone

I'm still the one left with all the pain.

He said he's sorry.

He told me he didn't mean it and that he's going to change.

And I choose to believe him when he says he won't hurt me again.

I'm not expecting you to understand.

Go ahead,

Judge me.

But if I lose him,

I'll have nobody.

Do you get that?

Who wants to live a life where they're alone and empty?

I need him just as much as he needs me.

In some sick twist of fate.

He completes me.

That's why it works.

We just keep going

Till one of us inevitably gets hurt.

So yeah

I choose to stay.

Go ahead and call me weak.

I'm not expecting you to understand, just know that leaving someone,

Is not that easy.

He's gotten into my mind and without him I'm paralyzed.

To the point where I force myself to believe him every time he apologize

Even though I know it's all lies.

Every waking moment I cry.

I've gotten used to it.

It doesn't hurt so much anymore.

I've become numb to it.

I've become sore.

And in some sick twisted way

He's my only cure.

What can I say?

I'm incredibly flawed.

Love isn't like what you see on tv.

This is what it's like.

This is my reality.

It's not as magical as they portray it in a Disney movie.

It's a lot of pain

And sacrifice.

You just keep pushing

Until you bleed.

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Taz