Hello lovely humans...

Today I shall tell you a secret that not many people knows.

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People are always surprised when I show that there is more than my cheerful personality or my 'big, bright' smile. Many (and I say many) years ago, I never really thought anything about my personality. I thought I was normal. Every other little girl in the world acted like me, right? I didn't know how wrong I was. Looking back now, I feel so disgusted at how I treated some people.

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I remember how easy it was to manipulate people. Just push the right buttons. Say the sweet words at a correct timing. And ta-da... you get what you want. I'd befriend people just to 'earn' popularity. Everything was a game to me. I never knew how it hurt, how it felt. I didn't care.

Well... at least not until graduation.

When I rose to the next level of education, I marveled at how different things. Back in my old school, I couldn't trust anyone. Anyone and everyone was your enemy. There were even 'fights'. Both verbal and physical. In my opinion, I'd rather go through a physical fight than through a verbal thrashing. The worst you could get from a fight is a bruise. Or a cut. Or even a scrape.

Verbal? Everything you ever had could be destroyed. And yeah. You might think that is an over-exaggeration. But no. Trust me. It's not. You could end up as the laughing stock of the school. You could be called names behind your back. Tripped in the hallways and gossiped about.

I...even participated in such acts.

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hey this really suits me doesn't it?

But now? Goodness me! After graduating from my previous school. I...I like to think that I changed. And for the better. I had better friends. Friends whom I could depend on. In my school now, there's no such thing as 'popularity'. No social scale to judge anyone. Noone is called names because of their looks, personality or even sexual preferences. Life is so much better.

You might be asking. But why talk about this now? Wasn't this years ago.

And yeah. Again you're right. This was years ago. The past is the past, right? Haha...nope. Your past will haunt you. One of my schoolmate...was said to be in therapy. This was caused by her attempt of suicide. And when I dug deep, I found out things I never knew. Sure, I never really spoken to her, but it made me think. Did I ever cause so much harm to someone that they would throw their life away, just to escape this hellish society? Where how 'popular' you are matters so much? That your looks and money is what defines you?

It's all fun and games till somebody gets hurt. I never wanted to be this way. I never wanted to cause so much grief. And I just wanted to share how its like to be a bully. Don't go too far. Heck! Don't even start.

And for those people who can relate to my past...I just want to give you a wake-up call. Don't be selfish. The world does NOT revolve around you.

Well...that got depressing really quickly. If you have read till the end then congrats? Sorry for ranting, just wanted to get it out of my system and tell it to someone. And typing on my computer is much less nerve-wracking compared to talking to a real-life talking, breathing human. Hehe :)

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so please...whoever's out there, don't give up 'kay?

Anyways, that is all for today
XOXO Alice

P.s. If you guys want to just talk, message me. I'm always free (coughcough exceptfromschool coughcough)