--My Paradox--
I always study the most but for some reason my grades are the least.
I always try to be strong but at the end of the day I break down in tears.
I say every day to me that I have to be the number one but at the end of the day I realize that I'm not in the top 10.
I say "everything it will be alright" when I see everything going wrong.

--My Reputation--
For my parents, an incompetent person who spends all day seeing bullshit on the internet.
To my friends an anxious and dramatic girl who should relax a little bit.
For my cousin a girl obsessed with study who has an empty life.
For me, a loser who has nothing and never gets what she wants.

--My Reflex--
The opposite of what I wanted to see.

--My Motives--
Hope, Revenge, Insecurity, anger, fear, ambition.

--My Defects--
Everything on me.

--My Lies--
Everything will be fine.
You're great.
Are you going to win one day.
I am proud of you.

--Why am I breathing?--
It's my only choice.
It's my only chance.
It's my only hope.
It's my only way out.
It's my only way.

--Why am I fighting--
For a better life for me.
For a happy life for me.
For a beautiful house for me.
For a great job for me.
For a victory for me.
Because i'm doing this for me.

--How I overcome of each breakdown i have--

I cry.
I clean up my bedroom (crying).
I take a shower and put on my best pyjamas.
I listen to "Don't stop beliving" and "Maybe this time" by the cast of Glee.
I ton my nails.
I make a very strong coffee.
And finally I do what I need.

--Things you have to know--
(Recite every day before going to bed)
You're not the mistakes you have made.
You are not what others see.
You are not what the mirror shows.
You're not what they say.
You're not what they think.
You're not nothing.
You're not going to be like this for forever.
You are you and nothing is going to change that.
You are you.

Make this day a good day.
Xoxo
-Gummybearbabe