Growing up with a great body, nice butt, gorgeous face in the 21st century is hard. You feel a constant need to show it because that's the only way you can get a lot of peoples attention and attention was something that seemed vital or Important to have. Attention made you somebody. And if you were given this amazing body then you used it whether it was posting pictures of yourself on Instagram on Snapchat on Facebook or modelling or in the worst case scenarios giving your body up to someone. And although luckily I didn't fall into the last trap it was something some people did and often times some people made it seem like you needed to even at a young age, just give your body up to anybody. Anytime anywhere.
I grew up feeling like if my butt looked too flat in a certain outfit then I didn't look beautiful. Or that if I had pimples I didn't look beautiful. And although you have one side of people telling you that your smart and talented and you didn't need to be beautiful in others eyes. It didn't help because there was literally hundreds against a hand full. And luckily I grew up knowing I needed an education and I loved learning and I'm smart. But there were times when I wish that I didn't care about what other people thought or if I was beautiful. I wanted someone to know me for who I am not what I looked like. More people who would compliment me on how smart I am and kind and caring not how fat my ass looks or that my boobs look like they're growing. But unfortunately that's the world we live in. And that's how I'm growing up and it's hard to change.
Especially when you are acceptable to societies beautiful. Because when society thinks that your their version of beautiful you don't have to dig deep to love yourself and truly think your beautiful because everyone is already telling you that you are, so much so that you don't even need to believe it because they believe it for you. I say societies version of beautiful because everyone is beautiful, Every single one. And I genuinely believe that.but because in today's society you have to have long flowing hair, big ass, small hips and a big white not crooked smile to be socially acceptable to everyone, then the term societies beautiful is necessary. And I admire people who are not "qualified" or apparently not beautiful enough to fit into societies version of beautiful but still love themselves regardless of all the hate and comments and judgement. I admire people who don't care and concave to societies rulings of what is and is not beautiful.
You would think it's easy and a breeze because us "pretty" people are accepted into societies beautiful category. But alas it is not. Yea we get Compliments but what kind? The kind where everything is sexual and has to do with your exterior never your interior. The kind where if today my hair isn't falling in the right places and my dress doesn't fit in all the right places and my face is not clear then we won't hear a single compliment it'll be the day when all compliments seize and become "I wonder what happened to her" "what stressed her out" "she's losing her ass" "she's not even pretty anymore" and to someone who is used to hearing your beautiful for it to suddenly stop is tragic. it's like ok well what do I have to do now to make myself seem beautiful again and you go and do squats, put on more makeup, wear tighter shorter clothes and change everything just to be accepted again because you never had to compliment yourself you always had someone else to do it. You Never had to learn to love yourself.
‎I'm not saying that this route is harder but I'm saying it's not all sugar and spice and everything nice either. It's also cat calls and guys following you and as 15 year old it's pretty scary. It's the random dick pics and the "hey send me a nude or a booty pic" it's the constant rumours and girls who are jealous and hate you for what you look like. The constant "she's a slut" she exposes herself too much and "she doesn't respect herself" and the comment and trolls and group chats and tbh and rates and everyone constantly judging you. And yea we have lots of friends but re they real? It's the everyone wants to be your friend but never really knowing why. Or why they never stick around or why they always talk about you as soon as you leave. And yea guys are constantly after us but for what really? Rarely ever for the right reasons. The boys who all have sweet lines , and full of fake love and want to "take care of you" but first we have to fuck and send me nudes etc.
And yea we have fans and haters? But it's confusing when your at the age where your trying to figure bout who are are but society is telling you who they each think you should be. With some people telling you to show off your body, your gorgeous don't worry what others say. Meanwhile others tell you that your a slut and won't get a proper career and will ruin your life, become a hoe etc.