Sometimes I can’t get rid of the feeling not being good enough. That there is always someone better.
Someone who is less complicated than me.
Someone who is funnier than me and who gets along with everyone.
Someone that everyone seems to like.

I just hate that urge to prove myself that I am just as good as the other one. I work so hard on seeing myself that way but then my walls are just torn apart as if they were paper and I’m feeling vulnerable again, even though I promised not to feel that way again.
It’s ridiculous I know but still. I can not do anything against it. The only thing I’m getting better at is hiding. From other people and from myself. Not the best thing to do but it is so much easier than to explain why you are not okay. Because no one really cares if they ask if you are okay. And even if they do. They won’t understand.
Who could relate to the feeling of not being enough? Only a few people.
So I just stay quiet and hope that this feeling will get less so I can forget that it exists again.
Until it comes back again.

Which it does. It always comes back. In different shapes but still always the same. The same feeling that’s been haunting me for years.