So, today I asked my best friend, how would she describe me in one word and she answered while laughing, "Emotionless".
I felt really hurt, but I kept the smile on my face, because she didn't mean to offend me or anything.
When I got home, I started to think, just because I don't cry while watching romance, don't share my feelings or deepest thoughts with people, doesn't mean I don't have emotions. I feel, god damn all I ever do is feel, but somehow they think because of the face I put up everyday, I don't.

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The weakest people are the ones who act strongest.

When I was younger and watched tv shows where there were those badass women and warriors, I wanted to be like them. I found beauty in their strength. I thought it was beautiful, how much pain they could carry and still keep fighting. I was so obsessed with the idea that I started to behave like those characters. My mind always told me "You will never be like them, you are too weak." and I felt like I was this kind of wannabe badass woman.

Years went by and one day, I realized something; I had become the person I always wanted to be. My friends thought I was strong and warrior-like. Deep down I knew that is who I was; I had always felt more connected with pain and strength than flowers and happiness.

Now I regret it all. Whenever I start to share my feelings with my friends, they think something is up with me and ask "woah, you feeling okay?". I go home; cry a little, deal with depression alone and then I wake up at the next morning, putting the smile back where it is supposed to be. Where everybody expects it to be.
I am kind to people. I am empathic and caring, but still everyone thinks I don't care.

I hate how everybody thinks I am so strong, but in reality, I am not as strong as they think I am.
Sure, I love the way I have developed, but sometimes it just sucks. Pain seems prettier in movies. Everything seems easier in movies.

I want to be kind, brave, strong, caring, loving, bold, a little selfish and selfless, but I guess I can't have it all.

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All I want to say is that, just because somebody doesn't show their feelings, doesn't mean they don't have ones.

The point of this article isn't to make you feel pity for me, but to understand people like me better. I can deal with my problems, but there might be somebody right now out there, who really needs you to talk to them. Don't make anyone ever feel, like they can't once in a while be weak and vulnerable. We all deserve to let our feelings out, even the strongest of us.