[How much longer will this suffering last? I wake up scared, nervous, dizzy, upset. How long can a second last? A while ago I was fine or I thought ...]

I sit up very slowly, nervous about the sudden impact, I try to think about what just happened but I have no imagination, with my head in my hands I breathe deeply when it comes to everything that happened, he has been with me so close but so distant .. I close my eyes trying to remember, little by little comes the memories, the images

I'm in a place where it's cold, on a terrace with the view of the stars, but for a strange reason I feel warmth in my arms, I'm sitting with my back pressed against a strong body, with a masculine scent combined with mint, confused I try to move but around me are firm arms that do not let me go, my hands are intertwined to those arms while someone strokes my hair with sweetness and delicacy, when I try to see the character that holds me, I find green eyes combined with brown that despite the darkness I can see them shining a little, without warning I raise my hand and caress his cheek while he smiles at me, I can swear that smile is the most wonderful I've seen, I turn to see the stars while he hugs me and caresses me but says nothing and I find it strange , but I do not dare to speak, we are only accompanied by silence and the night, I do not want anything to damage this moment, I'm clinging tightly to his arms that give me warmth and above all love protection while he continues stroking my hair and from time to time he gives me kisses , I remember that he has always liked my hair and the softness he has, i feel fall my tears but a moment why I cry ?, he caresses my cheeks while he says "do not cry my love, I'm here" ...

I'm cold, I open my eyes suddenly to remind myself that I'm in my room alone, I breathe slowly to calm myself, I lie down and I feel my cheeks wet with tears, I cling to my sheets to warm up but I do not get it, I feel a knot in the throat but I can not with this so I grab my pillow as if it were my salvation while say"No, you're not here" ..

[It was good because I dreamed of him, now I'm wrong because nothing was real was just a fantasy a dream where I never wanted to wake me because this is my hard reality, I'm alone and I have to settle for the solitude of my room where there are no stars , there is no heat, and he is not giving me protection, affection but above all love]

My only solution now is to cry in silence until I fall asleep again ...