i have moments in which my mind is so overwhelmed by emotions i don't know which to grab onto. that's when my head becomes such a mess i don't even know where to start when i want to clean it up.

often it's just because i need something to occupy the time ahead of me. other times it's out of boredom. all of the time, though, it leads to overthinking and that, for me, is never good.

because when i overthink, my vocabulary only expands to 'what if's and 'i bet this will go wrong' and 'i wonder if anyone will notice the bags under my eyes because i was too busy worrying about the little things instead of doing the normal thing that is getting some sleep'. there is no such thing as positivity in overthinking.

i'm overthinking right now, writing this. what if i use the wrong word and some of my grammar isn't right. or what if none of this makes sense to anyone reading. what if this was a waste of time. i bet this was all for nothing and i wonder if anyone is going to notice that as this point i'm just rambling for the sake of getting words down.

that's what overthinking feels like. it's the need to fill that empty space in my head with something, anything, just as long as it isn't empty anymore, as long as it gives me something to think about.

because that's what overthinking is. it's over analysing something so little and minuscule that it eventually becomes so much bigger and more haunting than before. it's not knowing when to stop and not knowing if you'll wake up in the morning with the same thoughts in your head, the doubts, the worry following you around as you go on with your day.

did i just overthink about overthinking?