Today I was in the outdoor pool. After a long time. I don´t feel good in a bikini, at least not recently. I have a normal figure, but I´m still scared of comments and looks. A girl I only know by sight, talked about me. About my body. About what should she talk otherwise, if she doesn´t know my character.
"She doesn´t have a booty and too small boobs". I know, I shouldn´t allow this to get close to me, but I think about it all night and can´t get it out of my head. Yes, I have problems with self love. In the past my body was the only think I loved about myself. But after every look I get, no matter if boys or girls, I fear that they think the same and then I feel bad. Shouldn´t it be obvious, that people also say "She is pretty" behind others back?
Why people do this? Why do we always search for problem areas by others? Why we can´t search for great things in people?
I don´t understand this constant competition, jealousy and hurting by using words. Why do we do this?
I didn´t do anything to her or speak with her. Why am I someone she seeks for faults?
Yes, I have little boobs, but I like them. And I think my booty is normal, not too big and not too small. And yes I have cellulite, but that´s normal!
In my opinion, it´s lowbrow and I don´t appreciate it. We are still young, we have feelings that can get hurt!
And a nice comment to someone, even it´s only a person on the street, can make them feel better.
I think such things, like real compliments and appreciation, becoming less and less. There is more jealously and hatred. And everyone of us should change this.
So love yourself.

And you are all beautiful. In your look, in your kind and in your character.

Lots of love M.