I have a big heart. I always care more, give more, share more, love more and sacrifice more than he or they ever did. I lost a lot of my friends this summer. None of the reasons being my fault but theirs. They hearts are so small yet loved by so many people just like them. They all carry a negative energy and one of the people was the guy i write a lot about. Him. I gave so much of my time to him because I knew what a relationship was before he did. I was more mature. He's a year older than me and had three previous relationships before me.....he was my first relationship. My first "I love, miss, need, want, care for you" and he ruined all of it. But because of my selfless and young heart i gave him more than i would say literally 50 chances. At least. I kept emptying myself trying to fill him up when he didn't care to be. He gave nothing. He said the perfect words that made me want to stay and shame on me for doing so. But how was I supposed to know he didn't care when all i did was care, was try, was love....? He was stupid and I was the naive, foolish girl.

But this all happened because of me caring more and wanting the best for people that don't want the best for themselves. He will find out one day that i was right about everyone i warned him about and he will realize i'm the best he ever had. No one cared for him like i did, but now its time to let him figure this out on his own but surrounding himself with these awful people. He will sit in darkness, and one day I will shine for myself. I will never surrender my big heart but I will no longer be so naive.