My depression is just like the scars on my face
It’s the nasty reminder of the acne that once hurt me mentally and physically
It’s the bully that called me names in high school and the friends that abandoned me
My depression is pitted and never ending, like the scars on my cheeks
It goes deeper than my skin, deep into my soul, my very being and it attacks my mind, scars deeper than the surface.
And just like my scars, it is making it harder to look in the mirror everyday
My depression has friends and they visit often, despite being unwanted guests
Anxiety, he comes around when it’s time to go out
He tells me sad stories, He says to me “stay in, you don’t like the stares from strangers”
“Don’t go out, you know you don’t belong, you’re better off on your own”
He keeps me confined inside my home, not just my home but my bed
Not just my bed but my mind, He’s made me a prisoner in my own body
And Loneliness; she has sleepovers with my depression, she is the warden in the prison that is me
She too tells sad tales, she tells me she will never abandon me like the people who said they'll always be there have.
She keeps me company, the irony has gotten to be too much
And like insomnia, she creeps around in the middle of the night; I often can’t bring myself to sleep when she’s around
So I sit up and try not to think because my thoughts kill me but the silence is a killing me too
Fear, he visits unexpectedly, I could be at work or at home
He tells me to constantly watch my back
Makes my hands shake and tells me to quiet down when I'm not even speaking.
It gets harder to make it through the day
When I am finally asleep he stalks my dreams twists them into night terrors
He turns the lights off knowing I'm afraid of the dark
Mirrors they haunt me in every room they remind me of my flaws and that at some point my demons will come out to play.
I pray for them to leave but I suppose they are are all I have. - Sweetergyaljadie