Best Friends? We most defiantly were, we spent every second together, we had an inside joke for almost anything, we were inseparable for 5 years, we were sisters. We were like two peas in a pod, you where my ride or die, my partner in crime!

autumn best friends

But you weren't my only best friend, I had another and I trusted her more than you, I related to her more than you.
And I guess you didn't take that very well, I guess I was just born first and you were born jealous. I guess you thought the only way you could of felt better about it was when you could found someone equally as jealous. Tell me did it feel good when you and your new 'bestie' gave me looks and whispered about me?, Was it soo funny when I messaged you about it and it took you 10 minutes to reply because you were telling your new best friend everything I was saying? Did it hurt when you finally decided that you were going to completely cut me out of your life just because you had to follow in your new best friends foot steps? Because if defiantly hurt me!

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It burned but I survived, realisation hit, thoughts hit. After a while it felt like we were never actually as close as I thought, maybe you went the best friend I thought you were. I was always last to know everything going on in your life, but I was the first to know that you had decided you were going to hate me. You think you have the 'upper hand' but you get nervous when I walk past.

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I know I still get upset over it, I know it gives me anxiety when we have a class together, I know it angers me that we have to share friends but what I don't know is if you feel the same. I wonder if you regret being a bitch to me or if your so glad you did it. I wonder if you hate me or if you just act as though you do. I have so many questions but I know ill never get the answers.

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I wish you the best but I also want to wish you karma because you unknowingly but me under a lot for no reason, or at least for I reason you never thought you bring up to me. I was terrified to come to school, I was afraid to be yelled at, hated, humiliated. Still ill probably defend you even though I shouldn't.

I worry that you'll become depressed, I'm scared you'll regret what you did, I'm scared that you'll want to come back but wont because you don't think ill let you. Sister can be spilt for years but there still connected by the heart.
I can see you changing and I know its not you, I know you're looking for the boys attention, I know your trying to make me feel week or leave me with no one. I know you better than you know your self darling and I know your new 'best friend' better than you do. Soon she'll snap and she'll leave you in the dust and you'll know just how I felt.

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