Those who shine from within do not need the spotlight

Rejection is Hard

When I moved into college the girl living across the hallway from me blantly rejected me. Not only did she not want to be my friend, but she barely acknowledged my existence. Something died in me that day.

For weeks after this I laid awake at night wondering what was wrong with me. I walked around campus with my guard up. I caught myself looking at other girls and taking mental notes about things they were wearing, saying, and doing. I was constantly comparing myself to others. Looking back at it now, I am so sad that my first six weeks of college was filled with self hate. I am so sad that I let a complete stranger define my value.

I wish I can tell you the exact moment that I had the epiphany. One day I just woke up and realized how hard I was being on myself. I looked in the mirror and did not recognize the girl looking back at me. That is when I realized,

it is crazy to give someone enough power to change your self worth

The Fear of Missing Out

Social media and I go way back and our relationship is quite complicated. I am sure most of you can relate to the fear of missing out phenomenon. I felt the effects of it in high school, but nothing like I did during my first few weeks of college. I graduated from an extremely small school. When I finally threw my cap in the air I felt this huge relief. All the pressure of measuring up to my peers was finally gone. But sadly it was not gone. I see my peers every single day. I see what they are wearing, what they are eating, who they are with.. everything. I scroll through my Instagram feed at night and see nothing but the glorious lives of the people I graduated with.

This alone is not the problem. I love a lot of the people I graduated with and seeing them reminds me a little bit of who I am. The problem is that when I see all the good things in their lives, I forget about the good in my own life. I forget that I am a Penn State Student. I forget about my stellar gpa. I forget about my loving boyfriend and the how good my butt looks in my favorite pair of jeans.

Someone else's beauty does not represent a lack of your own

I think it is extremely important to take a step back and think about what kinds of things people post on social media. The truth is that there is so so much that people do not want the world to see. People post the best, cut and pasted, edited versions of their lives. Think of all the selfies you take before you find one good enough to post. Remember that everyone does that.

My Healthy Habits for Self Love

I just recently committed myself to a healthier lifestyle. I want to point out that my definition of healthy lifestyle may differ from your own and that is perfectly okay. These are just things that work for me.

I use the app Simple Habit, but there are so many apps out there for assisted/narrated meditation. I can not stress enough the change I felt within myself by taking time out of my day to just breathe. Meditation is hard and it is not for everyone but I find great joy in including it in my routine.

Do yourself a favor and get those thoughts out of your head. Get them out. I try to journal at least twice a week or just whenever something is on my mind. I keep it next to my bed for easy access if I am having trouble getting to sleep. The worst thing you can do for your mind and your body is holding all those emotions in. A clear mind is a better mind.

Eat Clean
Food is complicated. I do not have a strict diet and I am not an expert by all means. Eat what makes your body feel good. Always keep healthy snacks on hand, whatever that may be. For me it's apples and peanut butter or greek yogurt and granola. Find a diet that works for you and go all in. Your body will thank you for giving it the fuel it needs. Eating a whole bag of potato chips feels good in the moment, but you will not feel good about yourself after the fact. I can do a whole post on food down the road.

Move Your Body
I understand that working out is not for everyone. I personally love to run. I also love yoga and I try to include those two things in my schedule at least twice a week. But it can be as simple as walking to class instead of taking the bus. Taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Or maybe just getting a good stretch in before bed. Exercise is correlated to uplifting moods.

Do Something for Someone
Compliment someone's outfit. Pay for the person behind you in the drive-through. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Give blood. Random acts of kindness do not have to be elaborate. It is proven that doing something nice for someone else will increase self-esteem.

"Feel" Yourself
Take cute selfies. Wear the outfit that you feel good in. Get your nails done. Write down ten things that you love about yourself. There are so many things you can do for yourself. The truth is that you are beautiful and it is okay to acknowledge that.

I will end by saying that it is okay to have bad days. It is okay to feel bad. It is okay. It is natural to feel. Self love is about knowing how to deal with those feelings, not getting rid of them completely.

With Love,