It’s being a while. I haven’t been writing or drawing, I can barely read; I don’t really want to be involved in any activity that means to feel or think. I let myself get carried away. I wanted my thoughts to be spilled like a faucet running on blank paper but it was never that easy. When I’m feeling like this my head is often a blur of unsaid things and I just can’t shape my thoughts into coherent words, it happens out of nowhere. Past mistakes keep weighting me down, despite knowing I couldn’t have done something different because you see logically I wasn’t who I am today so the things I’m ready to do now were inconceivable. It’s just that I feel stuck in everything and nothing fills me completely. The stillness of things makes me anxious and I can’t keep living like this. GOD my head keeps screaming and saying “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t”. I tried too many times to make sense but nothing seems to work. I’m stuck, lost and I don’t know when I’ll be coming back.

yellow, stuck, and quotes image