What is the last thing you think about before falling asleep?
Do these thoughts come from alone? Or do you think about a certain thing so you can fall asleep?

The last one is what I do. I always think about how I hope my life will be in a couple of years. Every night for the last, I don't know, cuple of years maybe?

Why? You may ask.
I do it so I can escape the reality I live in. I could have lived the best day of my life, but when I want to fall asleep I think about my life in a couple of years. I do not dream about a super fancy life, no not at all. I just hope that someday I will go home and actually feel like I am at home.

This brings me to my worst fear... that this will never happen and life will never get me to this point.

But until then all I can do is HOPE. It is all a human can do. Hoping is the best you can do when you are desperat and don't know what to do. Just hope and eventually it will work out.