You really want to know what hurt the most, do you?

It wasn’t the decision of shutting you out or finally cutting ties with you, after realising how you played me all along.
It wasn't the way you left me, without even a split second of hesitating, without trying to explain yourself, as if you've given up on us a long time before I did.
It wasn’t missing my best friend, who you once had been, or missing your kind smile, comforting me after a long day.

Because other people took your place and they filled your space, better than you would have ever done if I had given you one more chance.
And after a while I felt almost as good as new.

But what hurt the most was when other people mentioned you in our conversations. When my mum asked me how and where you’ve been the last couple weeks and my friend told me where she saw you yesterday when she was out with her friends. Because you still exist.

And what still hurts the most is that I feel like I will forever wonder if there was ever a chance for us to stay together – if I could have done something differently, said something differently, argued about something differently. And it feels like I still wish it will be us in the end.

best friends girl

This article wasn't intended to be a party-pooper or anything, just something I had to get out of my system. I will continue with more upflifting topics in the future, don't worry.

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Hope you have a good day, x