#WhiChallenge Day 2

Fears

There's a time in our life when, it order to move on properly, we should take a seat think about why we can't. What's holding us back ? Fears.

I knew for sure that talking about my fear of spiders wouldn't make you interested. I personnally wanted to make at least one of you feel like : you are not alone.

snow, winter, and hand image

As humans, we all go through some difficult time and sometimes we fear the same things, the same feelings.

So here is two of my deepest fears.

Failure

I know this may sounds completely cliché or common, but that's why I want to write about it today. Nowadays, from what I think is a young age, we are told that we should define our future directly. That is the beginning of pressure, something we shouldn't have as young people. Again, still my personal opinion. And you're going to ask me, what's the link with failure ?
As I briefly mentionned in my previous post, and will talk about it later, I'm a performer. But this goes way beyond the fact that I love to dance and theatre. My heart belongs to the stage, to the nervosity of the feelings we experience before going on stage.

architecture, art, and beautiful image dance, ballet, and dancer image
I've never felt more at my place than when I'm performing.

I've never wanting something more than to perform my whole life. And since I've been planning existence on this fact, I'm afraid of not being able to follow this dream. I'm afraid of failing the little girl I was.
The fear of failure follows me everywhere.

In my educational background, I've always been the one going from class to class without staying in the same grade for two years. I've never been afraid of being held back by my studies back then. But I can't say the same about University. Though I'm in third and last year, I've never felt the pressure of failure more than I did this past three years.

The Unknown

moon, stars, and sky image nature, flowers, and mountains image
How scary it is not knowing what's going to happen next ?

I can feel this ball of nervosity growing inside me just thinking about it.
I don't know you, but feeling in control of my life, of my knowledge and my actions reassures me. There's a certain pleasure in being in control, right ?
But can we escape the unknown in our life ?
I don't think so. It has its own doing in the making of our destiny. And that's the exact point that scares me the most. We can't avoid it, yet we wish to escape from its burden.

This fear is, in my opinion, the most nourishing and healthy fear I have. Losing myself in the unknown, in something I don't have control over is what can free me from other fears ( being rejected for example)

If it scares me, then I found out the reason why I should do it.

I still have some more fears as I think we all do, but I chose not to reveal too much about me, at least not yet. I'd rather keep some things mysterious...

Thank you so much for reading, be sure to check out my previous post:

A distant Dream :
the list of my 20 Days get to know me challenge :
My #WhiChallenge Day 1 :

With all my love,
B.