So this is my first article on WeHeartIt so please be gentle with me (besides, since I'm french I might make a lot of mistakes, so...sorry in advance!). Oh and sorry because it's gonna be a long article, but everything is important to the story.

I guess, during High School (or even Middle School), everyone got bullied at some point and there's no need to say how awful it feels. However, it is our choice to let it affects us at a certain level.

I know what you're thinking "but it's not that easy", "easier to say it than to actually be able to do". I know, it's hard and I admit it, if I was in front of that situation again today, I would probably be feeling terrible again and wouldn't be able to act differently. But, just listen... or read.

THE SITUATION

It was in 2013, Paris, the city of light wasn't exactly the city of love... In this year there was a big collective issue and it concerned us all : The right for Gay Marriage, Equal Same Sex Marriage, Love for all! It had many names and it was at the center of many conflicts, but I wasn't much interested in it. I was 16 and frankly I've always thought that The Government was just a terrible Tele Novela. So, I never bothered to actually listen any of it. However, people around me decided otherwise.

paris, city, and night image pride flag, gif, and loveislove image

Now, from a more focused point of view: My High School was (and still is) one of the top High School of Paris, the Elite, the ones who got our of there with their diploma will surely have a great College. Let's just say I was proud to be there (It's an old building look-alike Hogwarts seriously) and the whole environment was amazing. It's located in the center of Paris, near the Seine (the river) and at 5-10min away from La Cathédrale Notre-Dame. It's around many restaurants, savors, people, tourists. It was thrilling to be here and just amazing.

article, hogwarts, and harry potter image france, paris, and travel image bridge, capital, and city image bar, cafe, and chill image
Pretty Dope I know!

Since it was my first year (yeah, in France it's 4years of Middle School and 3years of High School) I wanted to meet everyone and it was easy, reaaaallly easy since it was a small school. Quickly I became friend with a group of girls. We weren't the popular ones but we weren't unknown either and we liked to speak to everyone, being very social. In the Same time, I entered the choir/glee Club and Drama Club, where older students entered as well of every year. It was a great time, I was having the time of my life!

broadway, stage, and drama image music, quotes, and white image

But, very quickly as well it started to deteriorate. The group of friends that I had had a problem. They started to mock other people, at first with what I thought were good enough reasons like "she insulted me" or "she pushed me on purpose", "she is so annoying and always complaining of everything", etc., but suddenly they started to laugh at people for no reasons "look how ugly she looks, she can't wear that, what's with that hair?"

Yeah. Basic bitches and Mean Girls.

freaks and geeks, bitch, and geek image Mature image

And it was terrible because I was becoming one of them. I didn't wanted to be cast apart, to be left from the group. So, I did it. I was a basic bitch and a mean girl. It wasn't bullying since it was behind their backs, but still, it was awful. I started to feel terrible but I didn't know what to do. I started to tell them that if they don't like this "post-it" friend (that would always stick around us), then they should tell her and not be a hypocrite. Of course, none of them wanted to because it was a "mean" thing to do... (Yes, enjoy the blindness of those girls). But I shut up and tried to forget about it.

REVERSING THE SITUATION

Christmas came, then Ski Camp with my church came. I know, many don't believe in God and everything but I did and I identified as a protestant since summer 2013 (which was very recent to everything). Anyway, I went there and I loved it. I forgot that people could be nice and not be hypocrites and not talk in people's back (I also know it's not all christians that are like that). It felt good to be around them and a pastor's talk gave me the revelation of the year.

It will sound obvious and silly of me to not think about it before but let's be real, sometimes the most obvious thing to do isn't the first thing we think of. I don't remember all of it because it was like 4 years ago but the essential was the fact that when you feel like there's something wrong, you can always do something about it. When you feel the pressure of a group, you can leave this group because you don't need it. You don't need them. You only need yourself. What people think of you isn't important. The most important was what you think of yourself.

quotes, yellow, and self love image aesthetic and wallpaper image quotes image quote, skam, and be kind image

It was so simple, yet so true.

So I started to think : those girls won't change if i talk to them; I didn't like myself when I was around them. So, the most obvious thing to do was just to leave this group and find new friends. I planned my way out by leaving without telling them to avoid a pointless fight and I would apologies to the people I may have hurt and those I talked about in their backs.

That was definitely easier to say than to do.

When I came back, I sticked to my plan on becoming the person that I wanted to be and being proud about myself. So I kinda ghosted them. this was the easy part and they helped me a lot with it. Yes, a true friend will go to see the other one to see if she has a problem or not. They never came to ask me anything. But they didn't really ghosted me until I spoke to that "post-it" friend.

She was the first one I went to apologies. We went to lunch at the Subway and at some point she started to talk about those girls, how she loved them and how they will be BFF... How we will all be Best friends 'til we die. I felt bad for her, knowing how they would actually trash her when she wasn't here. So I told her. I told her they weren't really great friends and I told her what we would say about her in her back. Of course I didn't tell her everything, it wasn't my story to tell and I just told her what I would say about her and how they agreed. Directly after, I apologized to her. I apologized for everything I said, for how I'd laughed about her for no reasons because she was stressed off school. I apologized for everything and I told her that I still wanted to be friends (true friends) if she still wanted to. I would understand that she wouldn't because I was a bitch.

She forgave me and told me it was really nice of me to apologies.

And I truly thought she was the bigger person in the story. I was wrong, but in a way I never imagined.

(I know it may seem like I'm writing a story and building the tension up and i'm laughing so hard behind my computer right now)

funny, sheep, and drum image

It was kind of expected of her to just go and ask for explanation to the group and I eventually noticed that it happened when those girls started to give me the look. The angry look like I betrayed them. But then again, it was kinda expected. What I didn't expect was that "Post-It" friend would start to give me the same look. I then learned that when she went to get her explanation, those girls put everything on me like I was the queen who decided with who we will become mean to. Somehow, I became the bad guy in the story and they started to (all of them, even Post-It girl) trash me.

beauty, lena headey, and game of thrones image
I was the Cersei Lannister of their story

But again, I didn't care about their opinion anymore. I wanted to become better, so I became friends with other people and I still had the Drama Club (even if most of them were in it) and Glee Club. So I became closer to the people in it while trying to avoid the snarky comments of the others.

Mature image

Now, let's get to the big part: Why all of this made me want to become a lawyer and why would I talk about gay Rights at the beginning. I'm pretty sure most of you figured it out but I will carry on explaining the stuff.

In the Glee Club, I had this girl friend that came out as a bisexual. It wasn't a big deal at all and I didn't understand why would people react so badly to it. I know I'm christian and many of the people that link themselves to the same religion often screamed at the "horror" it was. But thankfully I'm not one of those. I literally don't care with who you want to be, that's your private life and when I like a boy, I don't like to see people commenting on it, so I just think that we (all of us) deserve the same respect. I don't know if God will send people to Hell just because they like other people that are of the same sex but I, personally, don't believe it. Many friends that I have are gay bisexual or heterosexual, but that's not the point : the point is how you act, who you are and who you decide to be and the affects of your decisions on your life and other people's life. I mean, some of my friends that are gay are far better person than the rest that scream and judge them for who they are.

bisexual, gay, and lesbian image gay, lesbian, and lgbtq image
So yeah, I'm a christian who doesn't care if you're gay, just that you're human and a good person

So I got closer to this friend that is bisexual (let's call her Mary) because she was great, really fun and I enjoyed her company. But in this Glee Club, there was also this girl who was christian and who was not okay with her (let's call this one Rita). She would sometimes give me a pep talk about "how to be christian" and how this wasn't natural. I would think Jeez, why won't you mind your own business and leave her alone? But this girl was twisted since she would still be her "friend".

Anyway, one day she had a class so Mary had to go, she went to give a kiss on the cheek of Rita (then she went back to playing piano) and she then did the same with me before leaving. Rita suddenly exploded, screaming at me that I was a Lesbian because I kissed her (she thought it was a kiss on the mouth), I laughed saying "yeah right 'cause I'm a lesbian in the closet and not a real Christian". It was ironic and she was being ridiculous but apparently she thought I was telling the truth now, saying that I will go to Hell too now. At some point, she annoyed me and I left, thinking that this story will go away.

THE RUMOR

(It's almost the end I swear)

I don't know how or when or why, but it became quickly a rumor. I was officially a Lesbian in the closet (LOL). The next events happened in 5 steps and 4 months:

  • People that I didn't know started to come and ask me if I was a lesbian. I laughed, saying no. I was a bit worried but I didn't put much interest in it.
  • However, this rumor wouldn't fade away and people started to talk behind my back, laughing behind my back but in a very obvious way. Like, you know : they would speak and pointing fingers at me when I walked in front of them, that sort of thing. I started to feel uncomfortable and totally not at ease with all of it.
  • Then the situation became real and surreal at the same time. I started to say the typical phrase "No I'm not a Lesbian, but if I was it wouldn't be any of your business and not a problem at all". Apparently, defending Gay Rights meant that I was obviously gay. Doing a paper and a presentation on Social Studies about the New Law (yes, it passed while this story and it was a big event) didn't helped me at all. I became angry. I started to scream at people.
  • At some point, I started to get insults on social media and in front of me as well. The situation became unbearable, it made me sad and depressed, I ended up crying a lot, not knowing what to do. I didn't wanted to study, I didn't wanted to go to school when at first I loved it. I was lost, and my teacher recommended me to change school (not because of the situation, they didn't know; but because of my grades that went down)
  • My mom heard of it and asked me how I could let my grades going down like that. Let's just say that I'm a lucky girl, I have an amazing mother that has always been there for me since I was a little girl. We would always have a talk at least once a month but because in that same period of time she had quit her job and was looking for a new one, I didn't wanted to bother her with it. I exploded and told her everything. It turns out, my old group of friends + Post-It Girl + Rita were closed friends and they started the rumor.

My mom proposed me to go to the cops for the online bullying and to see the board of my school for the bullying at school. I refused. What could the cops do? I was pretty sure they would just say to go to the school or something that wouldn't change anything. They didn't care much back then (I think it has evolved a little since my time). The board could take measures against it, but against who? Half the school was doing it and they weren't obligated by those girls to do it so they are as guilty as them. But the board wouldn't expelled half the school, nor would they do it with just the girls because I didn't know at 100% that it was them and I didn't have any proof.

She had this other idea to send a text message to those girls and sort of threat them to got to the cops with proofs that they started this rumor. Obviously we didn't but apparently it worked. They stop talking about me and started to tell people that I wasn't interesting enough to be talked about. I can't remember what happened next or how it ended, I know they never apologized for it but we didn't talk about it and it was enough for me. I had my mom that filled me with pepTalks. The Principal of my school refused my transfer to another school because of my grades, saying that with what she saw on my mid-term presentation in front of the school, I had the potential to be a really good student and I just had to study. She told me that I was smart and made me pass my year (thought I didn't really deserve it).

all was well image
#JKRowling'sending

This next year we had to start looking up for colleges and to what we will do as adults. I've thought about it all summer, about what had happened, what I should do with it and it came in the most simple way.

I wanted to be a writer

(Wait whaaaaat?)

I know, what the hell? Why a writer. Well, because it was my passion since I was a little girl. However, I can't be one. I can't be whoever I want to be, freely, when others don't have that same option.

I was bullied for just a few months only for something that wasn't true. But what about the people for whom it was? What about all of them that are bullied because they aren't acting the way our society wants us to act?

It became more and more anchored in me. It wasn't just about gay people, it was also about everyone that doesn't have the same right as everyone else. "Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité", those are our words : Liberty, Equality, Fraternity. I am proud that these are our words in France. But I am not proud that we do not live up to it.

  • People can love who they want, it's no one's business.
  • People should have equal pay for the same job because it seems like an obvious and normal thing to do
  • People can do whatever they want as long as it's not affecting badly someone else's life
  • People can have the religion they want or not at all because they are free to believe

And the list goes on and on and on. So I pledged at 17 to fight for people's rights, liberty, equality. As long as I am alive I will fight for you, I will defend you as if it was my rights that needed to be defended. I will be a lawyer and not a politician (I just don't believe in their corrupt world) or a president (because he doesn't have that many power in the end, at least in France).

shirt, online shopping store, and pro-truth pledge image Inspiring Image on We Heart It earth, planet, and pledge image america, american, and grunge image

Today, I'm 19 years old, I have an amazing group of friends that I love and whom I care deeply. I finished High School in the same building as I first started and got the french equivalent of the ASATs with honorable mentions and the congratulations of the Jury. I also got accepted in the best Law School of France (and I can tell you it is very hard) and I still believe I will become a lawyer.


In the end, I believe that everyone gets bullied at some point in their life (lucky are those who aren't). I believe that we all live through the misery of High School but we can't forget those who couldn't. Many commits suicide every day or decide to go on a shooting spree at their school. To avoid this, we must be good people because everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about, because kindness is more simple than being mean, because we are humans and we need each other in so many ways. It's not about being bullied are wanting to become a lawyer, but more about realizing how some of us are lucky while others aren't, realizing that we can make a difference with just a simple act of kindness


Thank you so much for reading it until the end, I'm really sorry it was so long and I promise I will write shorter articles. If you are more interested you can follow some of my collections :)