For him it was lust ...

There was no physical attraction before that night. Just an ordinary guy who I wouldn’t lay an eye on. I was looking for my friends but somehow, we ended up seated next to each other – could it be faith? He was hinting the rumors about how “wild” I am..

I’ve never been wilder than that night (with him), lipstick stains over our lips and a deep shade of red on his neck. I’ve never been happier - the passionate make-out session while he carries me, the hot breath, heartbeat quicken. Oh, and how I love those lustful eyes on me when he hears me moan, like time had stopped and it’s only us sharing the moment. It’s the first time I hated distance, 1 inch is too far away. I hoped you will remember me by the markings on your arm.

I’m still not sure what got into me to spend a night with a stranger. We are strangers again after the night, it never occurred to me that it was just a “fling” to him. What was I thinking anyway? It would be easy to move on if I haven’t fallen for him.

This is when I noticed:

  • how charming he looked, how much girls’ attentions he’s getting
  • how he starting to become my type.

It’s the jealousy I can’t prevent

  • he’s a free person
  • we are nothing
  • I can’t shut every girl’s eyes looking at his direction.

I feel like a little girl having her first crush all over again. It was different with him, I can’t force the words out of my mouth, I tried to get his attention, but afraid to face him. We were so distant.

love, sea, and couple image

I faced the fact that “us” will not exist. He’s still very charming, lovely smile that would always melt my heart, long flowy hair I would never get tired to look at, and he has such youthful face - but also seductive in many ways. I thought it was dumb to fall head-over-heels for someone, and here I am falling for my dream guy. We probably will not date, but it’s okay in the meantime to be “friends” to meet up and have fun. If I could choose anyone it would still be him.

People may judge the decisions I made, but I’m not regretting meeting him. I can be a fool, but I know a dream from reality.

couple, friends, and quotes image

Don’t get a guy’s behaviors in public and private mixed up. Try to avoid the pitfall I’m in. We all have our reasons, sometimes we can't make sense ourselves. So be you live and enjoy your life. A little personal story I would like to share.

- T.93017