I don't want to be that person to ruin your day, so if this gonna make you sad or scared, don't read it.

The last few days I can't get the idea of death out of my head.
I was just chatting with my new roommate and that subject came in and since then it's just stuck in my head.
Now all the things I'm doing are covered in that one thought, that we are all gonna die and we have no idea what's next when that happen.
Maybe it's nothing, maybe it's another dimension, maybe we're just gonna get out of our bodies and keep carry on in new shape.
I have no idea man, but for me it's terrifying and I just can't stop thinking about it. Depression is killing me.
People around me try to be supportive about it but I know that no one wants to think about that stuff 'cause it's shitty for everybody.
I guess I could just sign in for a therapy, but I know it's not going to change anything because people don't have answers that I need.
My ex once told me that I should create my own vision of life and death to make it easy, that we should have our own vision inside our frame of mind. It's well said, but hard to do. It's all possible, and I don't know what to choose as an idea of possibility.
My parents are very religious, so they already have their hope. My father is trying to convice me in that, but I just can't accept it. There are so much things that we need to discover and we should keep exploring I guess.
I don't know what I was before I was born into this world, so that nothingness is maybe the answer. And it's a shitty one.
I know that there will be hard times when I would probably want this life to come to an end, when people start to die around me. 'Cause that is the saddest thing ever for me.
I also know that there are so many people out there wishing that they are dead and here I am so scared of that.
I know that I know nothing and I just came here to try to write it out of my head 'cause it's start to feel like the world is spinning around and I can't do anything about it.
I just wish I never had that conversation because it fucked me up, like a LOT.

Two days ago I watched Forrest Gump for the first time, and I'm 22. Lol. The movie is amazing, but so god damn sad. And for the end, here's my favorite quote from it:

"Momma always said dyin' was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn't."
~ Forrest Gump