coffee, student, and college image mountains, travel, and nature image nature, road, and travel image mountains, nature, and travel image nature, mountains, and hammock image nature, amazing, and autumn image

Won't he save me? The thought runs through my head every time he leaves, every time he can't make a date we arranged, every time he says he's busy...Can't he save me? I look around at the house I cleaned for him, not a spec of dust or dirt in sight, all for him. Should he save me? He never gave as much effort as I did when it came to the relationship and we both knew it. I set up the dates, the times, figured out where we were going, shouldn't I feel loved too...He won't save me. The realization hit late, it was when he left early the next morning to go to work and left me alone, the warm coffee was starting to get cold but I continued to drink it because that's what I did, I would do anything to feel like things were okay, but with him nothing ever was...Should I save myself? This need for someone there was all my heart told me, you need someone, you need someone...but what if I just needed myself...I can save myself. I knew this now, no man needed to come tell me how beautiful I was, how cute I was, how smart I was, I knew I was all that before they even came. The words slip off their lips too easily to be only for me when I knew mine have been said only to me. I can save myself. I'm deleting his number, telling him not to call me anymore when he needs attention, that he is doing me no favors. I will save myself. I've cleaned my apartment out and made it into the place I want to come home from, a one person coffee maker, a one person bed, a one person life to myself, to better myself. I am saving myself. From the hurt, from the drama, from a life filled with what ifs. A life filled with toxins, keeping me from being myself and living as I've always wanted. I will save myself. I can save myself. I am saving myself.