the past tense of fall is "fell" and it's quite ironic how I fell for you in the fall. but almost exactly a year later I tell myself that I am no longer falling. I don't have it in me to fall any harder. that's what I am bound to think. However, every time I hit the concrete, it's a little bit easier to deal with the pain. I scrape up my knees over and over again and I clean the wounds up the same way, rubbing alcohol and a small bandage. that is my body armour so I am prepared to fall onto another crevice in the sidewalk. and yes, I've still got bruises on my skin and chloride in my veins. Toxicity is all you have given me to hold onto. you insisted that I hold onto your every word. I'm still holding onto all of them so please, I beg you to leave the chaotic space that I am scared to call my mind. I'm begging you to leave the space incredibly vacant so I am able to think properly, clearly; without your existence being my every thought. I am begging you to leave me and never come back. because I cant ask you to stay, I won't beg. goodbye.