Dear darling,

waking up everyday is so hard. Maybe it's because I think with every new day it comes nearer. The day where he should come. But I am afraid, because he won't come. He is pretty creative in finding excuses. He's always finding something. He don't mean it serious if he does he would just say he is going to come. Even if he says he cares for me or mean it serious with me I can't fully believe it. I can't believe it until he shows it. He just should just overcome his fear and show how much he loves me and how important I am to him ...

To be honest...it's sad that I don't know what the excuse and what the truth is. He told me he is afraid to see me because the desire gets stronger, but what is it?

I hope I will know someday until I don't know...