At 19, I lived, I crashed and burned but through it all, I loved. I lost myself in others, cities and situations. I left home to live in New York city, there was a girl who in the end left me disappointed and rendered me a stranger to myself. These are the things I learned through the chaos, tears, confusion and the wild ride that was 19.

19 things I learned at 19

1. Consistency is key; work hard and be patient for the results, they will come.

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2. Don't ditch your friends for someone you're interested in, don't burn those bridges because then you wont have anyone to lean on when it inevitably goes wrong

3. Don't overthink people's punctuation; have your own and move on

"I overthink your p-punctuation use. Not my fault, just a thing that my mind do" -Lorde

4. Being vulnerable and caring about people is worth it. You will be hurt, it all hurts at one point or another but it's all important for a whole existence.

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5. Don't ever let anyone come between you and you favorite city(New York). If you fail and return home, take time and heal your wounds and the go back and be better
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6. Be a boss. The definition of what that means is up to you.
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7. Being strong is overrated; be vulnerable, be soft. If you're lucky, life experiences will teach you to be a well-rounded individual
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8. Never (please don't ever) start compromising yourself, your intellect, your personality to make someone feel more comfortable; it's not your job
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9. If you look in the mirror and don't recognize the person staring back at you, address it and start changing things. Don't try to wish it away with forced words of happiness dripped in denial. Don't be a coward, this is a chance to be a much better version of yourself
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10. Self-care. Take care of yourself, whatever it takes. Take responsibility for yourself and know that self-care is not always pretty but it's necessary
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11. "(S)he is very dreamy but (s)he's not the sun, you are". Take that with you always. You are important too
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12. Dance around. When things get too much, just dance with yourself. From all the chaos and the moments that lit you up and the ones that simply just burned you

13. Drinking and smoking weed may work for some but if it's essentially not for you, that okay. Do them in the moment if you want but then move on. There are other ways to enjoy moments.

14. Don't send naked pictures to anyone that you're not in a legit relationship with (if you do, here's a tip: no face, no case). Also don't take it in a bathtub because no one is worth your phone falling in bath water, unless it's actual "bae".

15. The way you envision things and the way they actually are sometimes contrast greatly. It's okay, that puts things in perspective and sometimes that is beautiful.

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16. Be present and always be you

17. You're no shrinking violet. Stop deluding yourself into that mind-space.

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18. Don't ever apologize unless you mean it and never about who you are unless you're willing to change
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19. Growing and changing hurts. You meet people who you think will be in your life forever, and you give them parts of yourself that you later realize they didn't deserve at all. Things don't work out how you want them to but know that they work out how they are supposed to. Be resilient and open.