When looking at my username I often wonder why I ever chose it. Nothing was ever really easy or just happy. But during the last year my life started to change, unfortunately not in a good way. On the 1st of January my grandfather had a stroke. I wasn't even at home. While waiting at the airport, I felt extremely helpless. Although he survived and gets better everyday, he still isn't able to understand everything and talk to us properly.
A few days later my best friend's father comitted suicide. She still can't get over it. It makes me so sad sad to see how much she is suffering.
Talking about spring things seemed to get better, because I met my then-boyfriend. We had a really happy time at the beginning, however, we broke up a month ago. We had some major relationship problems. During the weeks before I wasn't able to sleep at all, because I worried all the time and thought about a way to save our relationship.
While all these things happened to me one of my best friends betrayed me by spreading extremely bad rumors about me. Most of my old friends don't even great me in the hallway.
For two years I have now been struggling with anorexia nervosa. Right now it starts to kick in quiet badly again.
All those weeks since school has been starting again I went to partys every weekend just to get drunk and forget all my troubles. I even started to smoke and that's nothing of what I'm proud.
People always tell you to stay strong although it mostly isn't easy to believe.
Thinking of all that energy I already put in my fight I know that I won't give up.
I'm really sorry for all the mistakes I made in my text, because I'm not a native english speaker.
I kind of want to start a blog here on we heart it so if you have any ideas what to write about next just send me a postcard. :)