i have a really hard time making friends, like extremely difficult time which sucks. i'm very shy, so shy to a point that i have to be forced to say a simple 'hi' to someone i don't know, but once i'm comfortable with you i won't shut up. i'm also really awkward, i have no idea how to make small talk or even start a conversation which just leads to really awkward silence. i have one really good friend, and she tries all the time to have me meet new people but honestly it doesn't work majority of the time.

i also have a constant fear that i'm being annoying and everyone hates me, which is why i never text first but people don't text me first which makes me think they hate me even more. i also never know how to start a conversation after i haven't talked to someone in a while, like nothing interesting ever happens to me, my life is very boring. for example, i have a friend that likes kpop, she's the only person i know in real life that likes kpop and it was going pretty good for a couple days but we haven't talked in like 3 weeks and i'm way too scared to text her first.

there's no real conclusion to this article and its not very organized, which i apologize for, but i just wanted to talk about this and if anyone can relate to how i feel, great!

thank you for reading and until next time,

~lea