I wanted so badly, to be over you, to move on, to stop caring and to finally feel happy again. I mean it's been two months surely I should be able to hear your name without glancing up to see if it you. I should be able to go through the day without thinking of you once at least not hundred times. I should wake up in the morning and not turn over to see if you are lying next to me like you used too. Or go to bed at night hoping that any minute you will come join me and pull me into your arms, making me feel safe and secure like you did all those times before.

I went on my first date since you. He was really sweet, a gentleman. He took me out for dinner, he held open the doors for me, drove me home and gave me a good night kiss. But there was something missing. YOU. You were missing it should of been you. You should of been the one giving me a good night kiss. The one that was taking me out and being a gentleman towards me. The easiness, the fun and the laughter wasn't there like there was with you. I couldn't talk for hours with him like I did with you. Me and you connect straight away, it felt like we known each other our whole lives. We could talk for hours about everything and anything from the moment we met, even right at the end we could speak for hours without realising.

I don't know. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop the fantasies about you. To stop the memories of us flooding my mind.To stop hoping, wishing and wanting you.

I can't fall in love without you, and please don't fall in love without me.