It's only been a week without him but three weeks of hurting, in these series I will share my experience and hopefully just reading this helps some of you go through everything with me because you're not the only one. This is my experience with loving someone who I probably won't stop loving and the way i'm feeling. Hopefully I'll be able to come back and see how much I grew from this. For now welcome to my feelings.

Him and I had everything I've always dreamed of. Something many girls and even guys dream of having .I had someone who loved me and someone who cared for me. He'd ask me if I was feeling ok and if I wanted him to come over. It was the type of love you want to have and the type of love you know needs improvement but you also know that together you'll get there. The sad part was that we had it all,we had it but at the wrong time. How the hell does that makes sense? How can you have something so right at such a wrong time? But if it's love, it can get through anything,right? Not if it wasn't strong enough,and that's what fucks me up. How someone can say so much and make it feel so real but can also leave so quick and make it look so easy. How do you deal with all that damn pain. It doesn't fucking fit. You fight for it and you deal with the hard times because you really care and you really want them, it doesn't matter how old you are.If you love someone then you do and you do everything you can to try and keep them because that's how much that love is worth to you. I don't care if you're 14 or 18 or 56. Love is love and being hurt and not being loved as much as you loved someone hurts no matter what. The worst part of it all is thinking they loved you as much as they said they did and ending up crying at 3 am hating yourself because they couldn't love you the way you had hoped for. I had someone who loved me but wasn't in love with me the way I was.

- At the bottom again pt 1