I am sprinting on a 400 meter track with no finish line.

She ran with the grace of a gazelle
Her crystalline blue eyes held the secrets of
Everyone and everything that ever
Existed.
Her body was toned to perfection
Her skin glistened under the sun,
Emitting an ethereal, golden light.
I knew she would heal me.
Her glow was so entrancing that she became my muse.
Hypnotized by her magic,
I have followed her ever since.

I remember the first time she lapped me
The speed of her body passing mine caused my hair to pick up
And float in the wind for two of her steps.
Her sneakers were muddied and worn down
I was surprised she hadn’t felt the pain of her blisters yet.
I was sure they’d pop ten steps ago.

I called out to her:
“Please slow down!
Can’t you see I’m having trouble
Breathing?”

To which she replied:
“With every step you take, I’ll take five.

I stop for no one.”

I’ve never seen such an unapologetic strength.

In this race with no end
Where I am the inherent loser,
Panting behind a much faster force
I can’t help but accept defeat.

She is perfect, I am lethargic

The trees look blurry when my body is in motion
And I’ve heard that white jasmines smell sweet in the spring
But I’ve only ever desired
More oxygen in my lungs.

She has taunted me to keep going
And going
And going..
For 21 years.
Yet she ridicules my consistency:

“Why do you even try?
You’ll never catch me.
I’ve already lapped you thousands of times!”

I have never lost my motivation.

If only she would stop
Or at least slow down to a light jog
Maybe I could finally take in the details.
I would stop to drink some cool water
And watch
The trees as they change colors
And the hummingbirds as they sip sweet nectar
From white jasmines.

Maybe I could pick her brain

Wouldn’t it be lovely to be a bystander
Even if just for one lap?
I understand her need of constant motion
But I wish it wasn’t imposed on me.
My muscles are aching, my bones are tired,
My mouth is dry, and my heart
Is pounding through my chest.
Will I ever find the strength to catch up,
Or will the lack of oxygen leave me unconscious?

At this point, it is too late to stop. I’ve been running this race
For far too long. Maybe I can reach her
Someday.

At this point I wish to be no one.
Maybe then she would slow down for me.

-F.S.