22/09/17

The weather was good this week. This week has been difficult. Cold and sunny days are my favourite. I panick when he goes. I'm afraid i'll go forever.
People said I looked really nice today, that made me very happy. You would've like my pull over.
At 9, I had tears in my eyes, for no reason. All of the sudden, all I wanted was burry myself under the blankets of my bed.
I don't really know what is happening lately.

We celebrated a friend's birthday the other night, she was so glad. The smiles on people faces made me happy.
I've talked to my best friend about this constant need of him, that I didn't want to be depedant of anyone. For so long, I've thought I was an independant young woman, that I didn't need anyone, especially a man.
My dad gave me a beautiful flower, a red one. I love it.

But then I fell in love and I'm not sure I like it. I don't have total control over myself anymore. It is scary.
Tomorrow's my brothers' birthday, family are coming, I can't wait to see my grandma.
So I pretended I didn't care if I woudn't see him for an entire day whereas we're in the same school. Pretended I didn't care if he wouldn't text me goodnight.

Please, right me back when you can, it's weird not having you around. I don't recognise myself lately.

I hope you are okay.
Sweet regards,
-B