I am not writing this article for any kind of sympathy but because i've been keeping what i'm feeling inside my mind for so long and its become so nerve wracking.
You know how your mom should be your supporter and everything? Well mine didn't, in fact she was the cause of me worrying about my weight at such a young age. At the start of last year i was slightly overweight and thats when the comments had started, mum started telling me i look ugly and nothing looks good on me. That had continued for 3 months and the fact that my sisters were older than me but much thinner didn't help with my case. I got triggered after that, got obsessed with these insensible diets that would make me starve. After about 5 months i became a good 50 kilograms but i wasn't satisfied because by that time i had started following fitness models...
That was when i had developed anorexia nervosa. Every week i would starve myself and dehydrate myself which would result with me losing a kilogram each week which was way above normal. I started getting dizzy and having killer headaches. Then came the fasting and by that time i couldn't get out of bed anymore.
My parents realized the extreme weight loss and sent me to a doctor to check my hormones and condition. After she had analyzed everything, she told me the news that i've been too scared to accept and that was that i had an eating disorder and if i don't get back on track it would lead to me dying.
Its now 3 months later and am in better health but i still have those taunting thoughts every now and then. I look at my self everyday in the mirror and think about how anorexic i look. The bags under the eyes, the pale skin, my ribs showing and looking dead from outside. But, I'm recovering and hopefully soon.
May god be with everyone who's struggling with an eating disorder and i hope everyone stays safe from these mental issues sick or not.