The last time I saw the boy I've fallen for was five weeks ago. The last time he texted me three weeks. The last time I talked about him was yesterday. And I'm thinking about him constantly. Missing him. Wishing he would want to see me. But that ain't gonna happen, I messed it up pretty bad.
(In case you're wondering:
Why I hurt him: http://weheartit.com/articles/297037739-how-i-stopped-believing
How I hurt him: http://weheartit.com/articles/296166502-to-the-boy-i-love)

Story: Two people make out when they're drunk, they coincidentally meet again, get to know each other but because both are too busy for a relationship they start a friendship with benefits. Of course they fall in love with each other, but she won't admit it, so he gets hurt and walks away. She realizes what a big mistakes she's made and goes after him, fights for him, tells him how much he means to her. They end up happy together.

It's my story, at least the beginning. Until the point where she fights for him. Cause that's what I didn't do. Fight for him. He told me that he thinks it's best when we wouldn't see each other again and I just said 'Okay, I understand that.' THAT'S ALL.
Like I didn't care. Once again, I let him think I didn't care.
I should have said something. Should have told him, that I don't want to not see him anymore. That that's a stupid idea.
You know in movies where the guy drives in the middle of the night to her house and begs her to listen to him, so he can finally tell her his true feelings for her?
It may sound ridicoulus, it probably is, but I can't help but think about what would happen if I did that. What if I would just sit in my car, drive over to where he lives and ask him to please talk to me.

Because I miss you, L. I miss talking to you, I miss us making fun of each other, I miss your beautiful smile and the way your hands feel when they touch me. How you look at me when you tell me I look pretty. How you look all sleepy and annoyed when I have to wake up early in the morning to catch my train. How you kiss me gooodbye, casually, cause we would always see us again, and then we would share a passionate kiss again, that lights my body on fire and makes me wish that time could stop in exact this moment.
But that's all over.

I should have fought for you. Instead, I just let you go. Yes, you were the one walking away, but I didn't stop you.
And you deserve to be fought for.

I miss you, L.
All the love,
the girl that didn't fight for you