Do you ever feel lost in your own feelings, like there are to much to handle at once. Like everyone hates you, and that you just can't breathe. It is like you are drowning in your own feelings. It´s like nobody will or would understand you, because you're just miserable at handling your own life. Sometimes I just want to give up, but I couldn't hurt my parents this much. Because that is how I'm feeling everyday now and I think that I'm not the only one who is feeling this way and maybe you feel this way too.

About month and a half ago, my boyfriend of nearly 2 years dumped me, because he has a lack of time for school and his friends. It was really out of the blue and it really messed me up, i didn't want to get out of my bed, didn't want to eat, after a week or so i was feeling a lot better so I started seeing my friends and going to the parties. And everyone said to me that I will find a better guy and there are plenty of fish in the sea. But to be honest they made it worse by saying all this stuff because at that moment I realised that I'm completely alone in this fucked up world and that I have nobody by my side and that maybe he was the one. During this process I understand that my friends aren't really my friends, because when I'm sad they are mad at me, for not being happy. I really missed his smile and just being there for me and only he loved me, I didn't even loved myself. That night I wrote my ex, that i miss him, he said that he misses me too, but we just can be together and that it is better for both of us. And that is when I lost my self. I cried all night, looked at old photos and think about memories we both made together.

It's been month and a half and in this time i realised that:
1) Time heals, but you will never forget the person you loved. It will always hurt, but much less as the time goes by.
2)No contact period is necesarry.
3) Enjoy single life
4) Try to do things you didn't had time to do when you were in a relationship (like focus on studying, try new sports or hobbies, watch all the movies he hated and etc.)
5)Try to make new friends, they will take your mind from breakup.
6)Do not try to get him back!!!
7)And do not rush into new relationships
8)Try to get to know yourself, relax, go to a spa, take a bath, read a book
9) Don't be afraid to cry
10) And if you're thinking how to get him back, watch movie "He's just not into you" (actually it really helped me)

So as I said time heals, even if you don't see it yet, but I really hope that everything goes away and eventually you and I will be over him. Because getting your heart broken it's the most painful thing I have ever felt it's like getting all your bones broken and at the same time half of your soul being ripped apart.

Remember friends or parents can help, but nobody can make you feel good again except you, yes, only you, can help by loving yourself. Take risks, be reckless, meet new people and do not be as depressed as I'm. Next time when love comes to you, think of it as an incoming wave, dive in and immerse yourself in it. I promise you that you will come up as a new person.

Thank you for hearing all my messed up thoughts and sorry for mistakes, english isn't my native language. Write me if you're feeling the same way.

-Girl in pain