Fuck, I hate it so much. I hate that I can't hate him. It's frustrating. I should hate him for giving me hope; bring me up in the sky and then toss me down to the ground. But I can't. I truly can't. Every time I see him, he smiles and it's so kind. He's sweet and charming. And I don't know how to feel about it.
I just know that seeing him hurts, hurts so fucking much. I feel my heart getting ripped in my chest. I just want to cry my eyes out till there's no more tears in my body.
And I know it's stupid. It's way more than stupid because for him... I'm nobody; I'm not part of his world; At least, not in the way he's part of mine.
Everything about this is stupid, that's what happens when you fall in love with a stranger. A stranger I don't talk more than ten words with. To him, my smile isn't motive of happiness, not like the hapiness his single gaze generates in me. He doesn't look for me in a crowded place as I do.
To him, I'm nobody. I've always being. I've always be. And I can't wait for the day I stop seeing him everyday. For the day he becomes nobody to me. The day I'll stop feeling this pain in my heart that I just can't shake off.