i’m sorry that i’m not the daughter you so desperately want
i’m sorry i am not tall and skinny with long blond hair
i am tall, yes, but my hair is the color of the dirt in the garden we used to have
and i’m chubbier than maybe i should be
but if you could see how hard i am trying to love myself
maybe you might understand

i’m sorry i am not smart
i don’t have an A by every class in the grade book
but i am trying so hard to make you proud of me
and if you could see that
maybe you might understand
i’m sorry i am not captain of the cheerleading team,
or dating a football player

i’m sorry i only have eyes for a girl on the softball team
and it’s a stereotype, i know,
but if you could only see the way her eyes light up
when she talks about something she loves,
or hear the way she talks to me when i call her
at two in the morning, crying,
maybe you might understand

but most of all,
i’m sorry nothing i do seems to be good enough
but maybe if you saw how hard i try to be good enough,
your standards might change
i’m sorry i’m not the daughter you so desperately want
but i am trying
i am trying to be someone you can be proud of

- c.m.