Swallowed up in tears and numbness,
my mind buzzes,
questions,
anxiety;
Which direction am I traveling again?

Am I dreaming,
and if so, when will I wake up?
Nightmarish events swim by my eyes,
leaving trails of blood and sorrow.

Shut my eyelids tight,
wallow in denial.
None of this is real,
all this pain.
Just a fabrication,
of my twisted imagination.

I wish I wasn't so self-destructive,
I wish this wasn't the end of all good things.
I wish my mind would stop jumping from place to place,
what direction am I traveling again?

Backwards,
back to the days of hiding in my bed,
or forwards,
towards a dream of pure happiness,
that I never can obtain?

I grasp at hope,
but fall short each time;
shoved back by events,
beyond the control of my mind.

My inner compass is broken;
lost in the ambiguity of which direction I'm traveling.