First I just noticed some texts from you.
I didn't want to be that possessive girl that demands her boyfriend to explain every text he gets from a girl so I let it pass.
It's probably just a text, anyway.


Your snaps, honey, why do I see you popping up so much in his phone?
That little ghost icon makes me hold my breath when he checks his notifications.
I try not to look, but temptation gets me.


I ask him about that little plush hanging from his door.

"A friend that went to live abroad gave it to me"

He had said

"She told me she would get me the the bigger version one day, but that one's expensive, like 500 bucks"

He added.

Sadness struck me. It made me mad that my stuff was in a space in his closet and hers was hanging there.

We started kissing and little tears ran down my face and you stopped.

"Is anything wrong? Are you okay?"

I chickened out.

"No, baby, it's just that my contact lenses bothered me and my eyes got teary"

I guess you were too much in the mood that you believed it, but the tears kept running down my face in silence.


I am jealous of you.

You probably know a lot about my boyfriend more than the mere months that I’ve been together with him. I don’t blame you either. But I got enough trust issues already.
I wish I could bump into you one day and give you at least a bad stare but I can’t.
How can someone who lives so far keep me up all night?


The movies won’t help either
They all seem to be one of those in which the guy goes back to his best friend, leaving the girlfriends like us behind.
Why is it that we always talk about the girl friend instead of the girlfriend who was left behind? Are we all that bad?
Is he ever going to leave me?
If I ever marry him would you come to my wedding and push me further into this misery?


Will you ever get out of my mind?

Can you leave us alone?

Please do.
I don’t want to feel sad anymore.
I don’t want to feel sad.
I don’t want to feel.
I don’t.

I hope he keeps choosing me.


His new girlfriend


P.S. Julia Robert’s My Best Friend’s Wedding has been my best comfort so far.
(I’m really counting on you having a gay best friend btw)