For those of you who don't know, I have created a 30-day challenge for myself. I will be posting an answer every day for the month of September to let my fantastic followers, and anyone else who is interested, know a little bit more about me! #WhiChallenge

Here's a link to my original article of all the questions I will be answering-

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  • 18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

The thing that has been most difficult for me to forgive has been myself for not being "perfect."

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As a teenager, I think we all feel the pressure to fit in, be found attractive, and live a life of freedom and success. Society has taught us to be critical of both ourselves and others, judging what we say and do. Screening every aspect through a specific standard. It used to be that you had to fit in, look like everyone else, talk like everyone else, act like everyone else. However, it is no longer enough to be like others. Now, you must be unique, individual, and stand apart. Society will always have an expectation and pressure for you to obsess over if you let it.

I used to compare everything, my actions, my speech, my body, to the standards that I thought were placed upon me. Was I pretty enough? Thin enough? Had enough friends? What were others thinking about me? It drowned out any and all true positivity in my life and left me miserable, alone, and I ultimately lost who I was. I struggled for a long time to not only accept myself but also to be happy with myself.

The forgiveness was bittersweet simply because to move past I had to accept the hurt that was there and ugliness that my thoughts toward myself had become.

I never want to go back to the time where other people's opinions of me held more weight than my own of myself. However, it's tough when there will always be someone smarter, prettier, more successful than you. And the saddest part? I still struggle to this day. Even though I can identify this destructive behavior, it still haunts me and lurks in the back of my mind.

I wish this was more socially acceptable to address. I know there are others like me who have struggled and still struggle. No one should have to go through this alone. Find those who you can truly count on to trust and be there for you and talk to them. Break through the barrier that society has put up around your life and happiness and find happiness within yourself.

From someone who knows


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