i feel like i'm treading water
and if i can just just just get my entire being above the surface
i'll feel complete and free and weightless.
because i'll be standing on a sea a sea i made
of hard work tireless work daily work of my life
that has finally crested into the wave of my future.

i began with my eyes just above,
staring up at the sunlight daring me to hold my gaze and come closer
with mumbled water lapping at my ears
soon i pushed my shoulders above felt the golden warmth.

the storms came and pushed me back to my throat
before quiet days and nights let me float and feel the air circling around my belly.
i came closer than ever before this summer,
a gust of wind pushed me to bob at my knees before
this very same swoosh of hope knocked me back down to my chest.

now i wait without answers,
calling to the distant sun
and pleading pleading
please.

i'll let you know when i rise from this oceanic purgatory.