I feel completely empty. .
I feel worthless . .
I feel nothing. .
There are days or a point in our lives, or a phase, that we feel so down. Or even don't know what to feel. We feel numb and empty as negative thoughts flood our minds.
For instance. You we're so inspired that you made something of your own. An original song of yours for example. When you we're so excited you wanted your closest friends or a certain friend you we're so comfortable with, for her to be the person to listen to your song.
So you go to school. Excitedly wait for her. And when you're about to talk about your song. She starts to talk about herself on how down she is and just tells you things on her mind.
And . . you thought about:
I can just talk about it later . . I need to help her first
And then. . you get down for some reason or like disappointed since she looks uninterested.
Then here comes another friend of yours who notice you're down. And you told her the reason. And she tries to lift your mood up by listening to you.
So you got excited again and sang it. But as you're singing you sense this 'uninterested' atmosphere. So you don't finish your song and end it with a short smile.
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Or you try to talk to this guy. And started talking to him. Until you realized. . wow this guys got my attention A LOT.
So a part of you was the playful flirty one but the other side of you is completely slowly falling for him. Which leads you to being confused with your feelings.
And when you message him when for example he's online. But he doesn't message you that fast like you do to him.
Even tho most of the time you're always the first one in messaging him. Even tho most of the time you reply to his messages fast and show him you still want to talk to him longer.
And clearly. . He doesn't return the favor.
Maybe you're just overreacting and brush the thoughts away.
Girls are sensitive in nature. So we tend to over-think things that shouldn't suppose to be thinking about.
The small things that others do. Like the fast reply. We instantly think of:
he isn't interested
he doesn't want to talk to me
he probably likes someone and busy talking to her
It sucks overthinking things.
Like these two examples of mine that are literally my experience.
And now. . I feel so empty and worthless as my mind focuses and remembers the stupid things I did and what people said to me that painfully dragged my heart down.
I feel worthless.
I'm always the one who shows appreciation.
I'm always the one who remembers.
I'm always the one who makes the first move.
And one thought that keeps on bugging me with my moments like this.
Am I that caring person, or that kind of person who gives her all to help someone up. That person who puts others first before their selves ? That person who is always showing of a positive vibe, and hides her drama's to herself since no one is interested in talking about it and helps me like I do to them? Am I that fucking worthless?
- J u s t m e : V
