you realize that you should've said everything you can, did everything you wanted and ate everything you could when you're dying. when you're staring up at the inhumanly bright light above your hospital bed, smelling the dreaded smell of insomnia and death, watching people cry as they come watch you sit there hopeless and lost, like a puppy that was tossed out on the street. you want to scream, cry, laugh, kiss, dance, sing, do everything now, but before you didn't. and now you can't.

i used to believe that some things were impossible, but now, sitting here, breathing regularly in a dark wood casket, listening to some unfamiliar voice speak about me, i realize that i am alive. That I can do all the things that I want, say all the things I want to say, eat all the things I want to eat again. Something tells me to burst out of the casket and run for it, but I don't want my face to be all over the news. It's really stuffy in here. so many things sprint through my mind, but only one thing remains:

I am Logan Saunders, and I am alive.