You know,

sometimes I get sad. Of all the lives I will never live. Of all the people I will never be.

I will never be such a bookish girl, who sees the world so differently through her glasses.
I will never live a life in a big garden with sunflowers and wear long dresses and have a vintage camera.
I will never be someone who travels unbelievably often and tells about their journeys to their friends.
I will never be a gay boy and find my soulmate and figure out what love is.
I will never live a life at the sea, where I drink my coffee or tea and look to the ocean.
I will never be a ballet dancer, which has beeding feets but so big dreams.
I will never be a nerdy boy, who gets just a girlfriend when he is old and there´s someone who sees the beauty in him.
I will never be someone who is vegan and lives so healthy and feels good because of that. I don´t have the endurance.
I will never have a twin sister and feel so understood and so alone though.
I will never be the captain of the football team and go to the prom with the It-girl of the school because I am an idiot and don´t realize there´s someone better outside.
I will never be someone who found their big love in primary school or kindergarten.
I will never be someone who don´t think about things like life and dying and is doing good because of that. It´s easier.

I believe in reincarnation. And my life is long. I am still young. So i can do all these things yet. But you know what? It doesn´t feel so. It just hurts.