I woke up sigh god I honestly don't hate my life. I honestly just want to graduate, go to college, rent an apartment with my friends. I want to be free.
But I see you, every. day.
In the halls
study hall
lunch
Like an annoying alarm clock telling me to wake up.
Because this is surely a nightmare right?
I'll wake up soon and you'll love me and we'll be okay.
Right?
Today I wanted to die. I hate that word.
Suicide.
It's an automatic, pity, regret word.
I just want to be happy, and I was. Until YOU changed your mind.
I didn't do anything.
I would never hurt you because to hurt you is to hurt me too.
I'm not in love with you.
I never was.
But I love you, you were my best friend and now I have to see you every day and sit in awkward silence while you talk shit about me like I'm a dump you can pour all your unwanted lies into.
No one believes me.
I hate myself.
god, what have you done to me?
and how can I fix it?