Sometimes it’s hard to think of all the good things in the world when there’s so many horrible things stacking up on one plate. Everything around me comes crashing so close, my whole world slowly unraveling. My life has always been a series of hiding from the truth and keeping my distance from the people around me. What would you do if someone was always there...watching you? Wanting to go into the deepest, darkest secrets of your mind? Sometimes, I just wish that everyone would back up, leave me alone. I never understood the need of people to pry their way into my mind; digging their mindsucking claws into everything I have left of who I am until I am nothing but an empty shell of a girl.
I ran and I ran until I could ran no longer. I felt like I was being hunted by my own friends, my own family. Maybe I set myself up to be in this position but when it came, I couldn’t get out. I wondered how people have lived like this for so long… We are all trapped in a corrupt world, driven by hatred and fear of variety, complaining when things seem to be “wrong” or don’t go the “right way” but never do anything to change it.
I surround myself with the people I love the most in the world. I know they can’t always be there when I need them but I always have them in my heart. They are the constant, genuine people who can ask what’s wrong and I know that I’m not being played. They tug and pull at my heartstrings but that’s what friends do, right? I used to step out of my body for a moment and just look at my friends and question why I even became friends with them in the first place. Then… I realized that if they weren’t in my life, if they hadn’t been there the way they always have been, I wouldn't be me.
Have you ever just stopped and realized that if you hadn't met a certain someone, your life would be completely different? I think during hard times in our lives, where we feel that we are at our absolute worst, we realize how important these little mannerisms are. I always say “I love you” to every friend as we pass in the hall, drop each other off at home, or even just separate for a few minutes to go to our lockers. I used to think that people were prying into my life constantly, trying to learn too much about me but my thoughts changed recently. In the span of just under two months, I lost two friends, almost like family, and that’s when it hit me. All these things that I thought were taking away from myself, were really just slowly putting me together, putting the missing puzzle pieces back in place. Never forget how much you love the people around you, before you know it they might be gone.

“I love you.”