(some sort of fangirl letter)

This letter is dedicated to all my kpop bias. My letter is kinda messy because my thoughts are irrelevant when writing this letter but want it to share it anyway


I ask myself
why in the world would I like someone like you
a stranger
a person I only see on my computer screen
We live in different world
different language, different culture
And I don't know the actual you
Not the person I see on variety shows
or some videos of you that makes my heart flutter*'

To be honest
this artifical feeling
cause my feelings for you aren't that real
but I like the idea of loving you
I like to protect and cherish you

I like the way you entertain me
the way you dance
the way you laugh
the way you sing
everything you do enchant's me

It surprising
your voice comforts me
Listening to your voice
makes me calm and happy

you also make me want to look at your photos
again and again
Until I fall asleep
dreaming of you

I know you won't like me
the way I like you
because I don't exist in your world
And I'm not that beautiful
talented, smart
as you do

Although I know enough about love
I really want to see the real you
Because the truth is
I wanted to know if my feelings for you were real
Not some artificial love

If my feelings for you
are real and pure
I would fight myself in millions of girls
Just to be with you
I would swim across the ocean
Just to be where you are

I'm not like any other fangirls
I don't obsess over the things you do
I don't just love someone because of their good looks
and stuff like that (well kind of)
I'm ok just to watch you on my computer screen
watching your concert and performances

because unlike others
I don't have that kind of money
just to see you

When I love someone
I just let them be free
I want to see them happy
whether it's with me or with other

I like admiring someone like you
I like to imagine maybe someday
we could be together

But my feelings for you
Are just artificial

I learn a lot from my past
I love someone just like you before
So I learn to be realistic
and be more careful
Cause my heart is frigile
when it comes to things like this

I will always be your no.1 supporter
Supporting all your comebacks and mv
I'm also your unicorn imaginary girlfriend
So please don't be sad when everything in your life went wrong
I'll always be here and also all your lovely amazing fans
will stay by your side

If someday
I felt the feeling
of real love because of you
Not the fangirl love feeling
Please notice a girl like me
Please let me be the person to make you smile
and laugh
But if I'm not your future someone
I guess I have to let you be free
Even though it hurts when my feelings for you became real

But at this point of time
You are my artificial love
liking the idea of loving you