About 9 months ago i broke up with my boyfriend. I told him that he was drinking to much and doing to much drugs and i can't take it anymore. That wasn't the truth.

I had been single so long before him. I saw how porly girls treated their boyfriends. When guys where out with theyir friends thay asked all the time who are you with, were are you, are you drinking? they never trusted their boyfriend. They belived in all the rumors they where told. They got upset about everything.

I promised my self i would never be like that. I will belive my boyfriend over everyone. I will suport him. I will always see things positivly.

When we where on our first date, all i could think off was that i want you to kiss me. I was to shy to take that step myself.

The way you held me, kissed me, huged me it was everything.

But things changed... When you where out drinking and didn't respond to my text i assumed the worst. I would start asking you those grose questions. When you didn't respond i would write a mean text.

I felt horrible. Like i was everything i hated. Like i was the worst girlfriend ever. I tried so hard to stop, but i couldn't.

So i broke up over text.

I haven't seen you in 9 months. You would occasionally text me.

A few weeks ago i started in a new school. To be honest i had almost forgotten you. But then...

you walked pass me in the hallway.

I couldn't breathe, it was almost like i got a panic attack.

I realized how much i miss you and how stupid i was to ever let you go.

My life had not been really god either. I was feeling very lonely and unhappy.

I decided to text you that evening. When you asked me how i was doing and i responded not so great you wrote me text that gave me so much hope.

'' If you want to you can come over tomorrow after school so you can talk. It's also been a long time since I've seen you.''

I said yes. I was nervous and exited the whole school day. But sadly you had to cancel because you needed to go to work after school.

I wrote you a few days later and asked if we could meet up. You said you can ,but then you canceld last minute again.

Now i feel stupid, lonely and totaly broken. HOw could i even think you would give me a second chance? but i miss you so damn badly.

I haven't seen you a few days now in school and I'm to scared to text you.

I just want you to hold me, kiss me, tell me you love me.