trigger warning: suicide, depression

As a freshman in high school I was awkward, had no self-esteem, and had anxiety. Before I became a freshman I was excited, outspoken, and I generally loved life. And then I was in high school and I was changing. My first 3 years of high school were dark. After the first 6 weeks of my freshman year, I realized I was depressed, something I wouldn't "overcome" until halfway through my junior year (overcome is in quotations because you never truly get rid of depression). Like I said, those years were terrible. I hated myself and had suicidal tendencies. A big reason that I am still alive is because I couldn't hurt my family by leaving them and because I submerged myself into writing and poetry.

High school was a big reason that I was depressed. I felt so confined and judged. I'm both awkward and quirky; not like others to say the least.

I say ALL of that to say this...

I am a freshman in college now, and I am loving life!! PLEASE, PLEASE believe that there is hope. LIFE GETS BETTER. I am who I am, and NO ONE IS JUDGING ME!


I cannot stress that enough. My advice to any teenagers out there struggling with depression/suicidal thoughts is, find something that interest you (science, art, clouds, grass, literally anything) and invest your mind completely into that. Forget about the things around you and lose your mind. Remember that life will get better. Everything is temporary. You will grow and you will get better.

You are important. You make the world a different place. You are beautiful.

Without you, the world is NOT the same. We need you.


These are the things I wish someone had told me four years ago.