Sometimes I get scared of how empty my heart feels. It's like all my feelings, my worries, my anxiety got washed away by all the tears I've cried. I will write about it again and again as I think that by opening up about it it gets better.

The main reason why I started my effort was because I thought that if I tried really hard I would become rich. Money was my only goal from the beginning. On the way I started realising that things weren't as I thought. That's when my world started slowly falling apart. I started losing my way each day even more. People who were supposed to be by my side started getting distant and in the end I was left all by myself. Through the hardest period of my life no one supported me. That's when I kind of lost my trust in love and friendship.

Today, despite everything I've been through I am still far away from where I want to be. Some days I feel optimistic and filled with strength while other days I fill lost and depressed. I hope I will manage to reach a stable mental health soon because I don't know for how long I can go on like this. Some days I feel completely lost and helpless.