It’s hard to truly know who you are at any age, I’m young and this realisation of knowing I’m diving deep into all these different important things completely blind and unexperienced is startling. Many around me seem to have their life planned out and know in exact detail all their aspirations; myself? Lost. Completely and utterly lost in every sense of the word. Knowing who I am as a person is a problematic task; yet, having to discover what I want and where I’m going in life is leading me to lose any ounce of sanity I had left! What interests me? What inspires me? Where do I want to go? Who do I want to be? Do I like boys? Do I like girls? Does anything even matter at all? These are just few of the questions that run through my mind every day that I still don’t have the answer to. Maybe we’re just destined to go through life aimlessly- making mistakes to learn from them. So in all does this mean we don’t need to have a plan and we can just relax and go down the road life takes us? Nobody knows.

Being a teenager has always been perceived as exuberant, almost easy. Yet, in my opinion it’s such a confusing and tough time for anyone. Most these days lay in their beds depressed popping pills as we seem to be exposed to so much in so little time that its almost intimating and overwhelming to a certain degree. Life is beginning to take its' toll on me already, waking up everyday is feeling like an exhausting chore. Why do we live in such a cruel and helpless world i will never know. My life has always been messy, a stable environment was never really something i had experienced as a child. So, yes i am emotionally unstable, yes i mess up more than the average person; i'm trying so hard to forget about my past and move on with my future that it can be draining.

This is the now. My time. My time for a change, to truly be me- whomever that may be. In no way will i let my past and all of my mistakes define who i am. Whomever bothers to read this, and myself, are much more than a fucked up past that we've experienced, we are strong and independent beings who can always rely on ourselves to push through anything and everything!

Life may be difficult and i may not know where i'm going within it yet; however, i can do this. And so can you.