I am emotional. So emotional that sometimes, I'm not able to handle my thoughts and feelings.

And that can lead to influence my actings.

I can text someone I shouldn't.
I can destroy all my artwork at one evening.
I can scream and cry and do all these things that aren't good for me.

But as much as I hate my inner ghosts, I love them.

Because I am able to feel and care and see all the stuff others will miss.

And finally I found a method to save me form driving myself crazy but still enjoy my intense mind.

book and travel image

I write down my emotions and thoughs in a scheme. That helps me to get the balance between clear thinking and the chaos in my head.

And here is my system

I look at the first line. And then I write down the first thought that comes up
Then I look at the second line. And I write down the first thought that comes up
Then I look at the third line. And I write down the first thought that comes up.

1. Be *honest* to yourself. That may include to think about every sentence.
2. One day - one text - *one heading*. Don´t overdo writing. Let everything be real.
3. After a few textes, look back, take a maker and *search for patterns*. That will help you to understand yourself and that will make you to a calmer person.

I recognized, I am not that easy to hurt anymore. Even, if its not solving all of my problems, Im better sorted and a nicer person to talk to than before. If been a lot more creative and able to do stuff I want to do, like write this article:

I feel better now and that feels so gooddamn good.